"On Becoming" Toke Makinwa: Finally, insight on Toke Makinwa estranged relationship with Maje Ayida.
The social media painted story of how Toke Makinwa and Maje Ayida love life went down the drain is still fresh in our memory but to make it more understandable and most importantly learn from it the media personality has put it in black and white which she titled "On Becoming".
In the book she give account of how she found out her ex husband, Maje Ayida's Baby mama, Anita Solomon, was pregnant for him.
She also revealed that she agreed to make a sex tape with him and explained how she was devastated after watching the sex tape of Maje Ayida and Anita Solomon. [ Nawa oh! ]
Below are some excerpts from the book.
On her discovery of Maje expecting a baby with his side chic Anita Solomon, she wrote;
“I got on my knees in front of him, my voice calm as I can make it. “Maje, you can’t keep lying. What is going on? He walks away, leaving me there with my heart in my hands. I see him pacing, like he is having a private conversation. Then all of a sudden, he walks back to the living room, looks straight into my eyes and says, ‘She’s pregnant’.I fall to
the ground. My head….‘What’s she having?’
‘A boy,’ he says.
‘How long have you known?’
‘I’ve always known…. It was what I thought I wanted,’ he says.”
She revealed that while dating she obliged Maje’s request for them to have a sex tape:
“At some point while we were dating, Maje had asked if he could tape us having sex. This was a new one for me but I would do anything to keep my man, or so I thought, and so I obliged.
But I was nervous afterwards because I didn’t want the tape to get into the wrong hands…. I dragged the file back to his desktop, and I could tell from the stilled image in the video that the person in it was not me…. I
clicked play and watched horrified as Maje had sex with Anita. Watching that video, all of the inadequacies I thought I had dealt with over the years came rushing back. I had been with Maje from when I was an immature teenager, through my twenties, and for most of those years, Anita had been the standard I had to live up to. I had lightened my skin at some point – Anita was half Lebanese and half Ibibio, and Maje made me feel like he preferred her lighter skin.”
On her and Maje’s Breakups and Makeups:
“Months passed and I still couldn’t find a job (in London). And I was still heartbroken. Maje and Anita were officially an item, and I stalked them on Facebook. Maje would put her picture up and they would write on each other’s walls.
…one cold night as I got off the bus, I got a Facebook message from Maje. It read: ‘I miss you and I cannot deny or hide it, come back to me’. We started talking again… I convinced myself
that he had changed. Maje and I had been together for nine years, on and off, at this point, and it had been an unending cycle of hurt and betrayal. Every time we took ten steps forward in our relationship, we took fifty back. Each time I gave up and let go, Maje would come after me and hold on so tightly till I gave in.”
On Maje having another child:
… there was a 70-day fasting and prayer programme at my church. I joined in. I was praying for Maje and I. On the final day, I prayed and asked God to reveal why Maje and I couldn’t find peace with each other. I opened my email address and typed Maje’s email address in. I had no idea what his password was but I was determined to get into his account…. I went through email after email until I found pictures of a boy that looked exactly like Maje….
On contemplating suicide:
“I was sitting in the bedroom one day. There was a bottle of Dettol in the bathroom and a
thought came, very strong, “Just drink it and die. What’s the point? The whole world is laughing at you right now. Just end it.”
“The devil finds a way to fill your head with lies when you have just gone through a period. These lies can make you question everything, including the very purpose of your existence. Lies like:
‘You’re not good enough’
‘This is the best thing that could have happened to you and now it’s falling apart’ ‘This will end you’. When this lies came, God’s word provided a much-needed comfort and a reminder of my identity and His plans for me.”
"On Becoming" is schedule to launch on Sunday, November 27, 2016 and would be officially released on November 28, 2016 in Bookstores nationwide.
This book is a must read as there is so much to learn from Toke and Maje past experience together.
Watch out for my opinion on this book.
Photo credits: delta breed, bellanaija